Layered Green Gown

Click for larger version (PNG); click for PDF version. Click here for the list of dolls.

My friend posted this poem to her Facebook page, and for some reason — perhaps all this recent practice in letting go — it has been on my mind as I gathered my paperdoll materials over the last couple of days.

You shouldn’t attach to one thing blindly.
You shouldn’t say “I can’t live without her.”
You just shouldn’t say it.
Because you can!
There’s no need to use such clichéd words.
……Don’t love too much, for example.
If she loves you less, your heart will break.
And usually, she loves you less than you love her anyway.
If you don’t love too much, you won’t hurt a lot.
Besides, if you don’t own much, you won’t be owned either..
You shouldn’t own the building you work in,
your table, your phone, your cards..
In fact, you shouldn’t even own your hands or legs.
You should act as if they are not yours.
Then, if you don’t have anything, you won’t be afraid to lose.
You should act as if you can live without them.
For example, there shouldn’t be much furniture in your home.
You should be able to walk around clumsily.
If you insist on having something,
You should own the points where rooftops join the skies.
You should own the sky.
The sun, the moon, the stars…
For example, the northern star should be your star.
You should say “It is mine!”
If you really want something of your own,
Rainbows should be yours, for example.
If you really want to belong to something, you should belong to colors
To orange or to pink, for example.
Or you should belong to paradise.
You should live without owning much,
And not belonging to a great deal,
As if life will slip away from your hands any minute,
And as if it will be yours forever.
You should live attached to life,
Hanging onto its edge…

Can Yücel (1926-1999)

I do not think I could take the first piece of advice, whether or not it’s true; I’m too intense. But at those times when I pay for it in melancholy, it helps to belong to green. Could I be of any other color? What of you, I wonder?

Well, as you see, I’m back, or at least I will try to be! After I get out of practice, it can be difficult to draw anything, and I still feel a sort of residual stress from all that’s been going on over the past couple of months. (I tend to be a pretty upbeat person, but my temperamental moods are proportionately bad, and it gets hard to draw when I’m out of sorts. My state of mind definitely corresponds to my paperdolling proficiency.) Don’t worry about me, though: I’m very happy in my new home. I’ll write more about it soon.


Black and Blue Medieval Gown with Purple Roses and Silver Underskirt

Click for larger version (PNG); click for PDF version. Click here for the list of dolls.

I’m sorry I haven’t been drawing lately: I’ve really been in a slump. I’m fine, just busy and anxious: we’re moving from Michigan to Washington State on the 27th. I’m really happy about it, but it’s just really all starting to hit me.

As you see, you do not really miss all that much when I am in a slump, because if my heart’s just not into it, whatever I produce looks lousy. Certainly my intention for this dress was not “Evil Queen’s May Day.” How’d it get to look so gloomy? I could understand it if I had been listening to gloomy music while I was drawing (the kind of music Brian calls “high-school-is-hard-music”) but I wasn’t, I promise…

I can’t really say when I’ll be drawing again. If the desire isn’t there, the results are worthless, as you see. (And you’re not even seeing my first stab at coloring tonight, the 30s black and white dress done in pink — it was hideous.) The desire kind of comes and goes, somehow. I expect that once we’re in Washington State, I’ll be more cheerful, and there’s no need to worry about me because I’m perfectly fine and very lucky to be moving, I’m just being a little temperamental, I guess ^^;; Please forgive me, I’ll be back, and I haven’t forgotten about the other contest winners — I especially don’t want to do a bad job on those, so it’s really better to wait a little while for them!


Sprite from Fantasia 2000’s Firebird Suite, from Liana’s Paper Doll Boutique

Click for the doll.

Today I probably won’t have time to create a dress, so I’m just posting an old Boutique ouftit. (Once again, this was the site I ran back in high school. It doesn’t exist anymore, but it provides a handy backup on days where I’m busier than normal!) This is from Fantasia 2000 and, I think, is probably one of the last things I drew for the Boutique — you can tell because it was blended with a colorless blender and not with white. (Well, and also because of the date on the movie…) The specific part it was from was the Firebird Suite, and you can actually watch it on youtube, should you be so inclined.


Mermaid Monday #20: Grey-Tailed Mermaid with Red, Blue, Green and White Patterned Skirt

Click for larger version (PNG); click for PDF version. Click here for the list of dolls.

Now, mermaids love color; it’s a precious thing because their environment itself makes the bright shades they prefer transient. Get even a little ways down, without the benefit of the magic lights many mystics make a living out of producing, and everything is just blue and purple. But because of the intermittent nature of underwater color, the ensembles worn to well-lit mermaid gatherings are wonders to behold, and even just knowing you have shining auburn hair or that the emerald and opal bracelet on your wrist is absolutely fabulous in the sunlight is enough to be happy, most of the time. This is also part of why mermaids value their tail color so highly: feeling like a brilliant blue or gold is an intrinsic part of you gives you a pleasant warm sensation when you’re feeling grumpy or plain.

This means that grey-tailed mermaids, like the one we see today, have an unfortunate tendency to be maladjusted or insecure, more than those with other tail colors do. Even colors like white, black and brown are thought of as preferable. After all, white has a sort of unearthly cachet, while black has a rakish, cool image, and both of them are easy to match with other, brighter colors. Even brown can look good, assuming you can afford the right shades of red, gold and so on. Grey doesn’t seem to match with anything, really: blue and green, maybe, but the combination just seems glum. This mermaid, I wouldn’t precisely say she’s come to peace with her grey tail, but she’s scared of mystics (some of whom might be able to change it for her… for a price), so she overcompensates with long skirts and vivid colors, and she has a habit of tucking her tail close to her body while she works, so only the pale edge of the fin sticks out from under her skirt.

This would, certainly, be hard to swim in, but she works as a scholar in a big city, and so she doesn’t generally have to get around very quickly; in any case, she thinks it would be better to meet her end courtesy of a shark than to live a long life with her tail in full view. It’s a shame to feel that way, but that’s what happens when you feel hideous all your life. Honestly, I think it draws more attention to her than a skirt with a more normal cut, or a sheer skirt, would: no one wears skirts like this underwater, and even the mermaids with big old scars on their tails are often proud enough of them to not much care whether they show or not. So even though this is a mermaid equivalent of wearing a sandwich board that says “I’M INSECURE ABOUT MY TAIL,” it makes her happy. And heck, if I had a rainbow-colored skirt with a coral and fish pattern that cute, I’d probably be happy too.

I was asked to list the colors I use for each drawing, and I’m going to see how it works out to list them…

Colors used: Colorless Blender, French Grey family, Cool Grey family, Black, Sky Blue Light, Greyed Lavender, Violet, Ultramarine, Violet Blue, Spring Green, Dark Green, Yellow Chartreuse, Grass Green, Sunburst Yellow, Crimson Red, Poppy Red, Yellowed Orange, Tuscan Red