Halloween ‘10 Day 3: The Twisted Queen’s Black, Green and Red Gown

Click for larger version (PNG); click for PDF version. Click here for the list of dolls.

Now this is more like it, isn’t it, for proper life as an evil queen? This is the kind of thing our sorceress from yesterday generally prefers, so you can see why her inexplicable attachment to yesterday’s dress embarrasses her. (Well, it’s inexplicable to her: I know for a fact that her sister loved shiny ribbons and that particular neckline. But she doesn’t remember her sister anymore.)

She abandoned her flowery princess name shortly after awakening her powers, and she went by quite a few others over the years, but mostly she was called the Twisted Queen, even during the times she wasn’t really ruling much of anything. She liked that nickname, and although she made a point of removing the lips of anyone stupid enough to use it in front of her, she would reflect it in her gowns, her crown, her banner and so on. For it amused her to force the world to find patterns of entrails, of snakes, of ropes in the very hems of her skirts, and to cause every soul who saw her to recall her forbidden nickname.

She wore this gown to a summit held in a distant empire, but in truth she could have gone wearing a clown suit and it wouldn’t have harmed her reputation one bit, for things went wrong — as they so often do around her, on her most unstable days — and she was the only one to survive the meeting. But it’s a shame for no one to appreciate this dress, so she is graciously letting me share it with all of you. You may not actually appreciate it, and even for me, it is just a little too creepy to like… but if I was you I would at least nod and smile.

If you have been following me for a while, you might be wondering if the Twisted Queen was acquainted with the Good Queen. I wonder myself, come to think of it.

Prismacolors used: Black, French Grey 10%, 50%, 70%, 90%, Olive Green, Chartreuse, Yellow Chartreuse, Limepeel, Scarlet Lake, Sunburst Yellow, colorless blender. To be fair, French Grey was the entirely wrong color to use for the armband, and the color was corrected to be more similar to the crown in Photoshop.

Halloween ’10 Day 2: Evil Sorceress’ Black Gown with Full Skirt and Black Ribbon

Click for larger version (PNG); click for PDF version. Click here for the list of dolls.

Someone once told me they liked my darker dresses more than the conventionally pretty ones; the truth is, I do too, but conventionally pretty is easier to knock out when it’s 7:30 PM, I haven’t even started to think about what to draw (always much harder than the actual drawing) and I still have to make dinner too. But I resolved to do some darker dresses this Halloween, so we shall see how I do.

I’m not the only one who has a hard time breaking free of conventionally pretty clothes. The owner of this dress — sorceress? evil queen? both, actually, as she had an unconventional career trajectory — has deeply buried attachments to such dresses from her days as a beautiful princess, as good and uninteresting as the day was long, and she never quite lost her taste for some of the elements: the tight bodices, the poofy skirts, the splashes of color and lace. Now, a dress like this she couldn’t wear in front of fellow evildoers and retain her self-respect, as there’s just a touch too much fragility in the bow at the waist, too much domestic modesty in the long sleeves, too much girlishness in the full skirt and not even a creepy pattern in the fabric of the underskirt. It could be saved by a dramatic collar that jutted out inches past her shoulders and soared to her ears, but she just can’t bring herself to put it on and ruin the neckline. So she wears it in the privacy of her own chambers, although I cannot say she does anything so sentimental as reflect on her past life — I cannot say if she can still remember her princess days, to be precise — and if she suspects a henchman of giggling at her, she guts him like a fish.

You will hear more about her later in the month, if all goes well, and see some of the clothes in her wardrobe that better fit her twisted crown. But practice your poker face in the meantime, so she doesn’t think we’re making fun of her.

Prismacolors used: Warm Grey 20%, 50%, 70% and 90%, Black, Scarlet Lake, Tuscan Red, Greyed Lavender, Imperial Violet and Black Grape

Evil Queen Wedding Dress with Black and Purple Trim

Click for larger version (PNG); click for PDF version. Click here for the list of dolls.

You may or may not have seen this, but there’s a line of wedding dresses based on the various Disney princesses. You can probably guess that I’ve got a soft spot for Ariel and the gang, and I’m certainly fond of my pretty princess gowns, but it seems to me like something was left out… The fact is, it’s the villains who deserve the most spectacular wedding dresses! If you really think about it, theirs ought to be even more wonderful than any ever made for your standard issue simpering, vacuously beautiful princess. I mean, wouldn’t that be part of the joy of being a villain? You don’t have to worry about looking modest or maidenly, frugality isn’t even in your vocabulary, and if anyone out there gives you static about your wedding colors or where you have your registry, well, darling, that is simply the kind of situation that pet dragons, leftover poisoned fruit or comic-relief henchmen were created for.

So, let us pretend for a moment that Snow White never quite made it to the little cottage in the woods, and there were no red-hot shoes or other such fates for the Evil Queen. (Did you know that in the Disney version she had a name? I didn’t, but it’s Queen Grimhilde, according to Wikipedia. There’s your trivia for the day.) After her husband’s unfortunate death, she found her own Prince Charming, handsome, lacking in empathy and appropriately weak-willed, and threw herself a wedding good enough for the fairest of them all. I like to think that eight sweet little village seamstresses went blind embroidering the trim on her dress, and that the lace underskirt — which you will note, isn’t even visible, although I assure you it’s fantastic — is stained a kind of rusty red with blood from the fingers of artisans working themselves to the bone to get it done before the big day. (Sure, it could have been washed, but why would she? She likes it better this way.)

Now, I don’t really think you could package this up and sell it to a modern audience. Why? They couldn’t handle all this fierce in one dress, that’s why. For most humans, it’s probably better to stick with an imitation of Cinderella or Belle.

I’m not entirely sure that this is small enough to print on one page – so if you print it and it doesn’t work, let me know and I will fuss with it. (It’s almost 11 PM, so I’m rapidly running out of patience…) Also, I think the collar would be tough to cut out; I think you would have to cut between the doll’s shoulders and neck and her hair, and then you would cut a line straight through the middle of the collar, so the collar would slip behind her neck. Or cut off the collar entirely, I won’t hold it against you. It won’t seem as evil, though – some sacrifices must be made to achieve the proper look, you know.